Delayed and premature ejaculation are conditions affecting more men than we think. Every man can experience one of those problems at some time and some of them are suffering all their life.
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Delayed or impaired ejaculation is a condition when a man needs an extended period of sexual stimulation to reach sexual climax and ejaculate. Some men need 30 minutes or more of sexual stimulation to ejaculate, and some are not able to ejaculate at all.
In the most cases a man can't reach orgasm during sexual intercourse but can ejaculate with oral or manual stimulation. It can be just temporary or a lifelong problem.
It is important to say that delayed ejaculation from time to time is normal, the problem occurs when it happens so frequently that it causes stress for a man and his partner.
Now, there are several types of delayed ejaculation. In the case of lifelong delayed ejaculation the problem is present from the time a male reaches sexual maturity. In the case of acquired delayed ejaculation, the problem occurs after a period of normal sexual life.
There are also a generalized delayed ejaculation which isn't limited to certain kinds of stimulation, and situational delayed ejaculation which occurs only under certain circumstances.
Causes of delayed ejaculation include some chronic health conditions, surgeries and some drugs. While we are at drugs, we should mention antidepressants, some high blood pressure drugs, some diuretics, some antipsychotic medications, and too much alcohol.
Other causes are some birth defects, injury to the pelvic nerves, infections, prostate surgery, heart disease, neurological diseases, stroke, spinal cord damage, low thyroid hormone, and low testosterone.
There are also psychological causes: depression, anxiety, stress, poor communication, and anxiety about performance.
Opposite of delayed ejaculation is premature ejaculation: it occurs when a man ejaculates sooner than... Well, the best definition would be "sooner than a man would like" because there is no objective way to say what "sooner" means. A high degree of excitement may result in an ejaculation in seconds but if we are talking about minutes, we are on a very subjective field.
So, premature ejaculation may mean that a) a man is not satisfied or b) his partner is not satisfied. Some studies show that a "normal" man and "premature" man take almost the same time to ejaculate - the only difference is their perception. If the partner is pressing with "Why so fast?" then the problem can become very serious.
Again - it may happen sometimes and that's absolutely normal. We can say there is a problem if it happens so frequently that it becomes a problem for a normal intercourse.
Premature ejaculation is lifelong or acquired, same as in the case of delayed ejaculation.
Now, how to treat it?
There are some antidepressants and aesthetic creams are used to treat premature ejaculation but you should see the doctor because none of these drugs is specifically approved to treat premature ejaculation, we are exploiting their side effects.
There is also another, effective but largely unpopular treatment: talk.
Counselling about your expectations and performance do help greatly, the problem is that men often feel embarrassed but that is totally wrong: talk in combination with drug therapy can help.
Using only drugs, but staying depressed, most probably won't help that much.
In the case of delayed or premature ejaculation, there is one very important thing for men to have in mind: You are not more man if you don't want to talk about it; if you are talking trying to solve the problem, then you are a man.
Unfortunately, for many men it is easier to strangle a lion with bare hands than to say "OK, no luck this time, we'll solve it".
Pharmaceutical companies are just starting to explore ways to prevent premature ejaculation and Promescent, an FDA-approved, over-the-counter spray, is becoming a hit in the United States. In Europe, there is Tempe, also called anti-Viagra because its creator is Mike Wyllie, the same man who created Viagra.
But we will repeat what we often are saying: consult the doctor before use. ■