How to get your paper published in a serious scientific magazine? It's easy: you just need to use a lot of words from scientific jargon. That's it. It will be published. You may even write that Jesus was an expert for influenza.
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The Virology Journal published a paper speculating that a woman said in the Bible to have been cured by Jesus had influenza. Thank God, editor in chief of the journal, Robert F. Garry, apologized for publishing the article, saying that it "clearly does not provide the type of robust supporting data required for a case report and does not meet the high standards expected of a peer-reviewed scientific journal." He also apologized for any "confusion or concern" the article may have created.
The paper, written by Kam L.E. Hon, is a "case study" of a woman described in the gospels of Mark, Luke, and Matthew. The woman was said to have had a high fever and was "cured by our Lord Jesus Christ." Among the reasons given for the conclusion the woman must have had influenza was that she was unlikely to have had a severe acute bacterial infection because such a disease would not be resolved instantaneously. Brilliant.
This paper shows very clearly how you can mix sense and nonsense to create a "valid scientific paper". Take this for example: "Luke did not quantify the fever as the Fahrenheit temperature scale was not invented until 1724". True, it didn't exist, but what if the Fahrenheit scale did exist? Would Luke write something like: "And our Lord measured the temperature, did some blood tests and sent the sick woman to MRI"?
But it goes further: "The Bible describes that when Jesus touched the woman, the fever retreated instantaneously. This implies that the disease was probably not a severe acute bacterial infection (such as septicemia) or subacute endocarditis that would not resolved instantaneously". I wonder did Jesus know anything about septicemia or subacute endocarditis. And was he able to heal the sick scientist with one touch.
The author probably doesn't know what the Bible - or science - is, for he writes: "It was probably not an autoimmune disease such as systemic lupus erythematousus with multiple organ system involvement, as the Bible does not mention any skin rash or other organ system involvement". A free lesson for him: the Bible is not a medical textbook. Wrong book man, you can't learn car repair reading beauty magazine.
Then, there is a very long paragraph that mixes words like influenza, avian flu, parainfluenza, SARS-CoV, non-productive cough, myalgias, and everything else that came to author's mind. Obviously, it worked because the paper was published. He correctly notices that the Bible doesn't mention anything of that, but he continues with his "case study" to end it with a brilliant sentence: "One final consideration that one might have is whether the illness was inflicted by a demon or devil".
Now, let rephrase that: "One final consideration that one might have is whether the article was published by a demon or devil". ■