If the idea of trapping an airplane hijacker, sealing him into a package and dropping through the plane door ever crossed your mind, be calm: You're not a sadist, you are a candidate for the Ig Nobel Prize.
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Safety Engineering Prize went to the late Gustano Pizzo from the U.S. The idea goes like this: an electro-mechanical system traps an airplane hijacker, drops him through trap doors, seals him into a package, then drops the encapsulated hijacker through the airplane's special bomb bay doors, with a parachutes of course, and police on the land, already alerted, is waiting for his arrival. Very innovative, we must admit, and very scary if you are thinking about hijacking career.
The 2013 Ig Nobel prize for medicine went to Masateru Uchiyama, lead research on a study that analyzed the effects of opera on mice undergoing heart transplants. The scientist concluded that the mice that listened to opera lived longer than mice that listened to New Age music. The mice that listened to opera lived for 27 days while the average survival for mice after a heart transplant is seven days. This is remarkable.
The award in the psychology field went to Brad Bushman for his "beer goggles" study. The goal: Alcohol and self-assessment of attractiveness. The study confirmed a well-known belief involving alcohol consumption and self-assessment of beauty. The study concluded "the more alcoholic drinks customers consumed, the more attractive they thought they were." Well, we finally know, scientifically proved, that we are prettier drunk as a skunk than sober as a priest.
The Ig Nobel prize for biology and astronomy was given to the study that found that African dung beetles use the stars to navigate along straight lines, even in the absence of the moon. Good for them but that research could lead to some interesting developments. For example, researchers could create robots or autonomous vehicles that use the Milky Way that mimic the beetle's ability to use the Milky Way to navigate.
A study evaluating the ability of a human to run across water at reduced gravity won the 2013 Ig Nobel prize for physics. Based on the results, with the proper stride and positioning, a human can run across water on the moon. The study that won the chemistry prize discovered a new enzyme involved int the mechanism that makes an individual cry as they chop onions. Based on the research, there could be an onion that is created without these enzymes thus eliminating any tears.
The prize for peace went to Belarus for the new law that banned applauding in public and for the arrest of a one-armed man, for applauding, by the Belarus State Police. The public health award went to a study examining various methods to reattach a male's reproductive organ after amputation. Very interesting findings, you will agree, and we should all applaud all scientists for bringing us some very important findings in a funny and relaxed way. ■